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  • Writer's pictureLois Mills

Reflecting on My Journey: Advice for Dating and Marriage After Divorce Over Fifty

Hello again, my dear friends. It’s Lois Mills, welcoming you to another installment of my Silver and Sensational blog. Today, we wrap up our series on my significant relationships, reflecting on the journey that has brought me to where I am today. If you’ve missed any of the previous posts, I highly recommend catching up on them to fully understand the path I’ve walked.

Looking back at my life, I see a tapestry woven with love, pain, growth, and resilience. Each thread represents a lesson learned and a step taken towards becoming the woman I am today. As I share my story, I hope it offers you some comfort and wisdom for your own journey.

A young woman in the 50s wearing a wedding gown. We see her back and bun.

Husband Number 1: A Loveless Escape

My first marriage was a means to escape a difficult home life. It was devoid of love and marked by abuse. I stayed for my father’s sake, ensuring he felt his daughter was safe before he passed. Leaving that marriage was my first act of reclaiming my life and happiness.

Husband Number 2: The Friend Without Passion

In my second marriage, I experienced kindness and friendship, but it lacked the passion and depth. When my husband chose to pursue another relationship, it broke my heart, but it also set me free to seek what I truly deserved.

The Half-Husband: A Lesson in Self-Worth

The "half-marriage" was perhaps my most destructive relationship. It was a mirror reflecting all my unresolved issues and fears. I lowered my standards and settled for less than I deserved. When he left, I didn’t cry—I felt liberated. It was a turning point that taught me to value myself and embrace solitude.

Advice for Those Considering Dating or Marriage After Fifty

Having walked through these experiences, I’ve gathered some insights that I hope will be helpful for those of you contemplating dating or marriage after a significant loss or divorce:

  1. Recognize Patterns: Look back at your past relationships and identify any recurring patterns. Understanding these can help you avoid repeating the same mistakes.

  2. Value Yourself: Never settle for less than you deserve. It’s better to be alone than in a harmful relationship. Know your worth and stand by it.

  3. Embrace Solitude: Being single is not a failure. It’s an opportunity to grow, discover yourself, and prepare for a healthier relationship in the future.

  4. Seek Therapy: Professional help can provide valuable insights into your choices and fears. It can guide you towards healthier relationships and a stronger sense of self.

  5. Take It Slow: Don’t rush into a new relationship. Take the time to heal, reflect, and understand what you truly want and need in a partner.

  6. Stay Open: While it’s important to be cautious, don’t let past experiences completely close you off to new possibilities. Every person is different, and there is always hope for a fulfilling relationship.

Advice for Those Afraid to Date Again

For those who are afraid to date again, let me assure you that your fear is valid and understandable. After experiencing hurt and disappointment, it's natural to be wary of opening your heart once more. If you're anything like me, you may find that being single is the best way to live life for you. There's immense strength and fulfillment in choosing to prioritize your own well-being and happiness.

Embrace Single Life:

  • Thrive Independently: Use this time to pursue your passions, hobbies, and interests. Embrace the freedom that comes with being single and cherish your independence.

  • Focus on Self-Care: Prioritize your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Invest in self-care practices that nurture and empower you.

  • Build Strong Connections: Surround yourself with supportive friends and family. Cultivate deep and meaningful relationships that bring joy and positivity into your life.

Lois wearing navy blue against a white structure, looking hopeful and off in the distance.
There is more to life!

Moving Forward

As I look back, I see a journey of learning and growth. Every ending was a new beginning, and every heartbreak was a step towards finding my true self. If you’re navigating life after divorce or loss, remember that it’s a journey, not a destination. Be patient with yourself and trust that you’re capable of finding happiness and love again, whether that’s with a new partner or by embracing the beauty of single life.

Thank you for walking this path with me. Let’s continue to support each other, learn from our journeys, and stay sensational.

Until next time, take care and remember, it’s never too late to find your happiness.

🤍, Lois


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