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  • Writer's pictureLois Mills

Reflecting on My First Marriage

Today, we start a series that takes a deep dive into my significant relationships. If you missed my recent YouTube video, you can catch up on my story here for more context.

Marriage Chronicles: If you've watched my YouTube episode, "All About the Lo," you may remember that I have been married two and a half times. Yes, two and a HALF.

Let's take a walk down memory lane and talk about my first marriage.

Husband Number 1

I hesitate to use the term "high school sweethearts" because sweethearts, we were not. But, we did meet in high school, so there's that. My decision to marry him was more practical than it was romantic. I've shared some stories before about my narcissistic mother, and this was the best way to escape that situation.

The Wedding Day Realization

My soon-to-be husband didn't even make it to our wedding rehearsal the night before the wedding, and on the day of, instead of being dressed and ready to go, I was painting my nails 30 minutes before the ceremony. My brother assured me it was just cold feet and I went through with it; half believing him, half hoping he was right.

A Loveless and Abusive Marriage

Unsurprisingly, the marriage lacked love and respect. He would disappear for weeks on work trips without contacting me. When he was home, he was physically and mentally abusive. Thankfully, I had a good job and found solace in my work and other passions. It wasn't until my father, who had survived cancer once before, was diagnosed again—this time terminally—that my feelings about the relationship changed.

A Daughter's Final Wish for her Father

It was like a light turned on. I knew my marriage had to last as long as my father was still alive so he could die knowing his daughter was taken care of. I told my husband that once my father was gone, our marriage would be over and he would have to leave. He may not have believed me, but our marriage continued for six more months until my father passed away.

It was time

At my father's funeral, my husband reached for my arm, perhaps to comfort me or talk to me—I'm not sure. I pulled my arm back and reminded him that by the end of the reception he needed to be gone by the time I returned home.

And he was...

I encourage you to watch my YouTube video for more insights into my story and to share your own experiences in the comments. Let's support each other and learn from our journeys.

Until next time, stay Sensational and remember, it's never too late to find your happiness.

🤍, Lois


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